As Yummy has already alluded to, it is Anna's b-day. She would have been 37. I remember her birthday last year, right around the time she found out the cancer had spread to her brain. She died a month later. I can't believe it's only been a year - how could a year seem so long? I can't believe it's been only a year - how could a year seem so short?
In mid-May of last year, I took a trip to visit her in NYC, before she knew about the brain metastases, and she was feeling well for much of my visit. Really well. We went for walks in the park and drank iced coffee and watched the Sopranos and ate at one of our favorite NYC restaurants, Awash Ethopian on 107 and Amsterdam. And laid on the bed and chatted and played with our babies and watched Carina and Dario make music. I was so happy that she was having lots of good days, as she had had so many days of unbearable pain and fatigue and nausea for so many months. It really was a wonderful time - like old times. I knew Anna was dying, but we had planned a big reunion of college friends at Anna's mom's house for mid-July, the Lovebutt reunion, and when I left NYC, I thought I'd be seeing her again soon. I didn't know it was the last time I would ever see her.
How I miss her. How we all do.
Anna
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2 comments:
I'm so fucking angry today. I can't believe it. can't can't can't.
One of my happiest memories of Anna's final weeks was at the Team D show at the Knitting Factory. As Nina says, Anna was so so happy to be there, hearing Team D rock out for her and all the fans. At one point, I reached out and held Anna's hand thinking it would just be for a moment b/c Anna was never that touchy-feely with me. But she held onto my hand and I felt like a little kid, just so happy to be with Anna at this great event, holding her hand. From time to time, I still think about how glad I was to hold her hand.
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