Anna's last birthday

Last year on Anna's birthday, she, Yummy and I went out to lunch at Niko's on 76th and Broadway. Anna and I split the two veggie plates of hummos, tabouli, etc and Anna ate all the olives. We realized that we had never been out together, just the three sisters, in our lives and said we would do it next year, which would have been today. Anna rarely talked about her death, but that afternoon she said that she thought 36 years was actually a long time to live and that she had done a lot in her life.

Last year, Anna had a big party at Bank St. to celebrate her birthday and to thank all the people who had been such an ENORMOUS help over the course of her illness. It was a great party and Anna was an energetic host. As Hannah said, she had been having good days and, I think, was looking very beautiful. Even with no hair and bloated from steroids, she was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

A few days after her birthday, Jody's band, Team Dresch, came to New York to play a couple of shows; the show at the Knitting Factory was a benefit for Anna. Anna came and sat right backstage, singing along to every song, totally rocking out. She even got up on stage to give Marci, the drummer, something to wipe off her face; as she passed by the audience, limping and wearing a neckbrace, she pretended she was going to dive into the audience, then laughed as she came back to her seat. We were out later than she'd been in who knows how long, but the next night she insisted that we go to Brooklyn to see their other New York show. She was truly ecstatic those nights, her eyes shining with joy and love. Her energy was so vital and clear.

It is impossible that she died less than a month later. Anna, it is a very unhappy birthday for those who love you. There will always be a hole in the universe.

Birthday

As Yummy has already alluded to, it is Anna's b-day. She would have been 37. I remember her birthday last year, right around the time she found out the cancer had spread to her brain. She died a month later. I can't believe it's only been a year - how could a year seem so long? I can't believe it's been only a year - how could a year seem so short?

In mid-May of last year, I took a trip to visit her in NYC, before she knew about the brain metastases, and she was feeling well for much of my visit. Really well. We went for walks in the park and drank iced coffee and watched the Sopranos and ate at one of our favorite NYC restaurants, Awash Ethopian on 107 and Amsterdam. And laid on the bed and chatted and played with our babies and watched Carina and Dario make music. I was so happy that she was having lots of good days, as she had had so many days of unbearable pain and fatigue and nausea for so many months. It really was a wonderful time - like old times. I knew Anna was dying, but we had planned a big reunion of college friends at Anna's mom's house for mid-July, the Lovebutt reunion, and when I left NYC, I thought I'd be seeing her again soon. I didn't know it was the last time I would ever see her.

How I miss her. How we all do.

5.25

from her 8th birthday party.

Reed Obituary

A few months ago, several of us worked on an obituary for Anna for the Reed Magazine, which goes out to all Reed alum several times a year. I figured there were lots of people at Reed who knew Anna, but not so well that they would have heard about her death, and it looks like that is the case. Thank you to all of you who have already come here to share your memories of Anna - I think I am safe in speaking for Anna's family and close friends that it truly means a lot to hear your memories of her. (If you follow the links in this sentence, you will find comments made in response to the Reed obit). For those of you who didn't go to Reed (imagine that!) and don't get the magazine, here is the obituary:

Anna LoBianco ’92, June 29, in New York City, from breast cancer. Anna LoBianco received her B.A. from Reed in English. For several years following graduation, she lived in Portland, working as a youth counselor, playing guitar in the Reed psycho-rock band Lovebutt, training as a martial artist and self-defense instructor, and mentoring her beloved, crazy mutt, Puppa. She also worked in a Portland public elementary school classroom, assisting children with behavioral problems, before returning to her hometown, New York City. After earning a master’s degree in education from Bank Street College, she took a position as a special-education high school teacher in Harlem. Informally voted “strictest teacher,” LoBianco spent extensive after-school hours, focused on resolving her students’ academic and personal issues, and received, in return, their love and devotion. After becoming a mother, she took a position at Bank Street College of Education and also worked as a trainer for All Kinds ofMinds. Family and friends—including Hannah Demeritt ’92, who provided the details of this in memoriam—assert that while LoBianco’s dedication to others may be somewhat understood in this brief recounting of her life, “her inimitable personality, for which she will undoubtedly be remembered, and for which is already so sorely missed, is difficult to describe: self-assured, bold, bewitching; generous, principled, driven; zestful, passionate, loving love.” LoBianco is survived by her mother and father, two sisters; and her common-law husband, Bolivar “Chiq” Avila, and their two children, Ruby and Dario. [NOTE: Anna LoBianco requested that people share funny stories about her, following her death. If you have a memory or story—no matter how small—please take time to add it to the blog for Anna, www.annalo.blogspot.com. The stories are being collected on behalf of her children.]

There were a couple of pictures included as well, which hopefully Nina and Jody can post.

Dario writes Mommy

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"Look that's so long"-Dario May 15th

It's Alright to Cry

"It's Alright to Cry" was a song Anna and I both liked to sing. I'm always trying to get Ruby to sing it with me because she has such a stiff upper lip. I found the video on youtube. It was made in the 70's with the original singer, Rosie Grier (an All-Pro defensive tackle and part of the "Fearsome Foursome," one of the best defensive lines in football history). He also was into needlepoint. Fun to watch while you enjoy a tastee delight.

Alicia

Sandy River Secret Spot

Here's an annotated Google map of the Secret Spot on the Sandy River and the spot just down the river where Chiq scattered Anna's and Puppa's ashes.

You can zoom in and out and drag the map to see the river flow into the Columbia (to the left, West of the Secret Spot) and the Columbia into the Pacific.

Secret Spot

Here's a view that shows the Secret Spot, Mount Hood to the East, and the Columbia heading to the Pacific.

Wide view

Strawberries and Cream

This weekend I was enjoying some strawberry shortcake w/whipped cream w/my kids and thinking about how much Anna loved this tasty delight (a term she often used to describe food she liked). I think she had it every year for her b-day, courtesy of Dora, is that correct? Anyway, just made me think of her and then I remembered it again today when I was driving in to work. She really loved blueberries too. When she was really sick w/some weird tropical virus while she was pg w/Ruby, she was in the hospital and I asked her what she wanted me to bring her and she said, w/no hesitation: "blueberries!" They weren't in season, so I had to search, but I found a little pint of blueberries in a weird, fancy fruit specialty shop on Ocean Parkway, amidst all of the Kosher shops there, and took them to her and sat w/her as she ate them up. I miss fruit season with Anna.