moisturizer and love

i wanted to share a quick story for dario. when his mom was pregnant with him we (maud, noah, anna, chiq and me) all shared a house out in the hamptons one weekend to go to ali marsh's wedding to fred. i have many pictures of dario inside anna's tummy - and his dad, chiq, putting moisturizer on anna's legs. he was taking really good care of anna to make sure she felt well and so dario would be safe and sound. i guess it's not really a story... and maybe his dad massaging moisturizer onto his mom's legs isn't the most earth-shattering moment -- but to me, it was just a wonderful happy image of chiq taking care of anna (and dario). and anna was so happy to pet her tummy and know that dario was in there - she couldnt wait to see him!


i also attach a couple of photos from the night that amanda guinzburg wrote about in an earlier post. we had a wonderful night reminiscing and feeling the safety of old, familiar friendships. the irony of that night (which amanda pointed out) is unbelievable. of the people assembled, i think only ali and anna knew. but look at her anna lo smiles!!!!

Chico's Tattoo

This was taken on Chiq's cell phone a couple hours after it was done.

Pictures from Alicia

To go with her recent stories.






To go with her recent stories.

Stories from Maud

Right after D was born I moved into a new apartment. Anna was the kind of mom who would go anywhere with her kids so even though D was just a little baby and I had no furniture she came downtown on the subway for a visit with Ali and Phoebe. I think Amy might have come too. We all sat on the floor taking turns holding baby Dario and then he took a nice nap on my air mattress (I didn't even have a bed yet!). Afterwards, I felt much more at home in that apartment.

Another quick one--Anna was always so proud of how smart Dario is. Whenever I would say, "I can't believe how much Dario is talking or how good he is at singing songs" or whatever it might be, Anna would get this huge smile on her face and beam at Dario and say, "I know" and Dario would smile back his cuter than cute smile which would make Anna smile even bigger and brighter. It was a very beautiful smile fest!

Love, m

Little Man. Rrubah. Chico.

I can hear her voice so clearly in my head that sometimes it scares me.
The way she called Dario, Little Man.
The way she called Ruby, Rrubah.
And Chiq, Chico with her Spanish twang.
When I read things she wrote, it's like she is standing right next to me. I can hear her that crystal clear in my brain.

Hannah, today that grief hole is swallowing me whole.

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Lovin' the Love!

The grief hole

I don't know what it is, but I've just been missing Anna so much lately and I'm just going to post about it. Of course, I always miss her, but it's been really intense lately. For me, I think it's just kind of a build up of all of the daily little things and extraordinary big things, but mostly the little things, that I would have shared w/her, and each time I can't share them with her, it hurts. Lots of stuff about our kids, as that was so much of what we talked about in recent years. But also so many little things from our more distant shared past. Alicia's post made me think about our Reed days. Then tonight, I was watching the UNC basketball game, which I never do anymore, and when they started talking about Patrick Ewing, Jr., it was just too much. Even though Anna had kind of lost interest in the b-ball in past years, how much would she have loved Patrick Jr.? And seeing old daddy Pat beaming in the stands. Anna's love of basketball certainly needs to be covered in more detail, but Patrick and Patrick Jr. made me think back to the years in the mid and late 90's in NYC when Anna and Josh and I used to watch a lot of ball. I remember one New Year's Eve (not sure what year, maybe 97 or 98?), we were supposed to go to some party, but the 3 of us just hung out at Anna's apt. on 105th and watched basketball. The funny part of this story is that we were watching the NCAA Championship game from 1982 on some Sports Classics cable channel, not an actual live game. Granted, it was one of the greatest games ever (freshman Michael Jordan, not yet a superstar, and his teammates Sam Perkins and James Worthy of UNC beat a Georgetown team that included Sleepy Floyd, and yes, a young Patrick Ewing). I think in honor of the fact that it was New Year's Eve, Anna performed a bombastic a cappella version of New York, New York, complete with chorus line kicking, that Josh and I still laugh about. It was quite memorable. Then later, after the game was over, we went to a party at some guy's fancy penthouse we didn't know and Josh leaned on this big lazy Susan that had all of the beverages on it and sent it spinning, spilling red wine and soda and whatnot all over the white carpet - Anna and I pretended we didn't know him. Anyway, it was a really fun night. Patrick Jr. made me think of it and the basketball days. And I just got so overwhelmed by that hole in my heart, this time the grief of not being able to call Anna and talk about Patrick Jr. and about that New Year's Eve, which we laughed about for many years thereafter. Know what I mean?

For Dario, From Alicia

I came to NYC to visit Anna when Dario was about 8 months old. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was with his big long eyelashes. We spent a lot of time just lounging on the bed with Ruby--all three of us snuggling Dario. Ruby loved Dario so much and would say things like, "Dario is the best name ever!" She was really good with her brother, she seemed to love the role of snuggly cuddler and big sister protectress.

Anna told me that when she when the doctors told her about Dario's heart condition she thought to herself, "my life will never be the same again."

I was really impressed with Dario's class at Bank Street. Anna put Dario in the baby front pack and off we went to catch the bus, Ruby dancing ahead of us the whole way in her rainbow skirt and "Dump Bush!" t-shirt. Dario sat in the circle with Anna and sang the welcome song. He was only eight months old! but he clearly loved school and I remember how Anna would breast feed him in the back room. When we left him at school he was in the little croissant pillow propped up and when we came back he was the still propped up clapping his hands and having a grand time! It had been over four hours!

Anna loved being a mom so much.

For Hanukkah she told me she lit the candles on her bicycle-menorah with the kids and said a funny blessing: "Baruch Hanukkah biking candles shalom" -- something like that.

When we were in college Anna was doing some kind of college service work for whatever reason and it involved having lunch with potential students who were visiting for the day. I remember that she was really impressed by one girl whose mother had died when the girl was very young. Anna was impressed by how serious, mature, and strong she seemed. After their lunch Anna really wanted to talk about the girl and how she'd been so moved by her. Anna linked the girl's impressive integrity to the death of her mother and having to go through that at such a young age. I think that was pretty unusual--for someone to make such an impression on Anna. I think about it now and think about how proud Anna would be of Dario and Ruby--and of course Chiq. For how brave they are. And I hope it will give the kids the diamond pure strength and beauty that Anna saw in that girl who also lost her mom.

Dario thinks about Mommy

Last Tuesday March 13th Dario began asking very early in the morning for new Mommy pictures. Unfortunately at that moment it was hectic in the classroom, and I couldn't figure out where we'd get new Mommy Pictures. Later that day it occurred to me to check the blog. He was so excited to see new photos of his Mommy. We printed them and added them to the growing collection. Dario spread them all out on the table while he cut some pieces of paper for Mommy.

That same day we'd gone for outing to St.John the Divine and Dario was thinking about the time we found a flower for Mommy in the Rose Garden. Sadly the Rose Garden was under construction (as well as the playground). We thought for a long time about where Dario could get another flower for Mommy. While we were cutting and printing pictures a Room One Family brought us a bouquet of flowers for curriculum night. Dario looked through all the flowers and chose a red rose for his Mommy. He asked me to take photos of him with the flower, and he spoke about he thought "Mommy likes this flower right?"

The Prince

Anna sent this on october 23, 2003 :

"My stinky old mutt,
a prince among dogs.
His beautiful spirit outlived his ailing body.
Truly loved & truly loving.

found: April 26, 1994 Portland, OR
lost: October 20, 2003 South Salem, NY

my first love..."

I was always terrified of Puppa. Was it that if I went to hug Anna he would try to bite my butt off? Was it because if I made any movement that resembled dancing, he would try to rip my throat out? Or was it that strangely human look in his eye?

Maybe it was because Anna loved him so much that I knew that he must be a creature of superior quality.

....No, he was a little scary.

Anna Lo is a Right-On Mama

"Iraqi babies deserve to grow up too."
"Iraqi mommies deserve to see their babies grow up too."
...and I think Chiq had an 'Iraqi Daddies' shirt. Can't remember which march these shirts were for, I just remember them all freezing and proud. How many marches did Anna take Ruby to?

The other shirt is
"Save your soul and your country
Dump Bush
Vote Kerry"
I think that was just for every day wear.

What were the other anti- bush tees that she had? She had, ahem, Quite A Few.

Here is a blurrrrry pic of A Lo and B Lo- that's Ruby Avila at home in New Yawk a few years ago. It's storytelling with Ru- I believe she is hamming it up for the benefit of her Mama, Jody and Denk and me- we are on the sofa facing her. Oh Ma looks so proud of her little star... then, for her closing act, Ruby slammed the book shut, rolled back, kicked her legs in the air and flashed the audience... proving she's a real Lobianco with nothing to hide.

Anna is too loved

Here's a story that came to my mind. Anna taught Girls Self-Defense classes. The name of the class would mean nothing to Dariio but it can be explained as a class that taught girls how to feel comfortable and safe and happy. The class lasted for about an hour or an hour and a half after school, but very quickly the girls started thinking Anna was so awesome they would come to her with every issue they wanted to talk about (e.g. homework, friends, parental complaints, etc..). At first, it seemed great - we had a teacher who was loved and admired as she always was, but soon everything that would happen to these girls at home or in class they would say, "I'm going to tell Anna about this...". The school and the principal started getting calls from parents, "Who is this Anna?" and we ended up having a meeting to deal with the Anna is too loved situation.

XO, Liz (Victor Holub)

Swimming

Anna loves the the beach. Our first trip together was in Puerto Rico. When we arrived to Puerto Rico Anna was ready to hit the beach. Their were five of us, Lorraine, Ethis, Angelica, Anna and myself. Anna would be the first one to rise-up early in the morning to hit the beach. She will sit there reading her book or she will go for a swim. She's an excellent strong swimmer. I believe she can out swim a shark.

Love Always,
Ramona

AKA Colette Rabin

Here's another.. probably not for the kids:

In Portland circa '93 I belonged to a gym and one hot day brought Anna
+ Maudie as my guests to swim in the pool. I only had one guest pass so
Anna took the alias "Colette Rabin". Well, sure enough, the woman who
worked at the place came out to the pool and asked if we were members
and what our names were. When Anna said "Colette Rabin". the woman
said, "No you're not. I know Collette Rabin, she's in my spnning
class". Anna, non - plussed, just kind of quietly said, "well, that's
weird" and kept on swimming.

Awesome!

Story from James

Holding Krack's Hand

Hi guys. In Portland I was with Anna and Krack and a bunch of other people at a party at the Lucky House. These skaters that no one knew showed up and started to cause trouble. They ended up throwing a full beer can at Krack, which hit him in the face, giving him a big gash in his lip. Someone volunteered to drive Krack to the emergency room and Anna and I got in the car with him. Everyone who knows Krack knows he can be a bit hard to read under normal circumstances. As we rode in the car with him, he just didn't seem to be reacting at all. It was also hard to see how bad the gash was and I learned later that it was pretty deep. So I just assumed he was ok but Anna turned to him and said, "Krack, do you want me to hold your hand?" and I remember that Krack nodded vigorously. She held his hand until we got to the hospital.

Story from Neilson