Happy 41derful!

Who would you be today, or your 41st birthday, if you had lived?

We are all poorer for the lack of you.
lovelove,
neen

Miss you my sister

Just watched the Hazel Day-Glo video and there you are, so tough and cool and beautiful, and I just want you to come over and sit on the couch and laugh and eat, gossip. I will make green bread.

Oh my little sister, I couldn't save you.

Four and a half years later and it's still impossible that you are gone.

Time passes...

Maggie wrote the following poems four years ago. She was going to try and read them at Anna's memorial service but she couldn't.

Hi I am Maggie Helmes, I am 9 years old. I am the oldest niece of Sa. I wrote 3 poems for Sa. I wrote a cinquian, an ode and an acrostic poem. My first poem will be my cinquian.

Sa
Very Caring
Friends of many
Tried to beat cancer
Brave

Ode to Sa
Sa, you were as sweet as a chocolate chip cookie. You
were as caring as a lamb. You were as brave as an
Indian warrior. You were the friendliest person in the
world because you have amazing friends. You are now
a shining star and not sick anymore. We will always
remember you and miss you. We love you so much.

ANNA
A person that
Nobody will forget
Never stopped trying to get better
Always will be in our hearts

-Maggie Helmes, June 2006

And now, four years later, Maggie is 13 years old and wrote the following for her 7th grade English class.

Her Car.

Her faded yellow, old worn down car.

Chips of paint scatter beneath it on the grimy gravel,

Weeds weave around the flat tires,

Mud is caked upon the smudged glass windows,

Dirt and Dust blanket the car,

hiding it from the pain and grief surrounding it.

Abandoned, it waits for her,

to sit in the seats, replacing the mold with warmth and love,

to touch the steering wheel, wiping away the cobwebs with the tenderness of

her hands

to drive away from the sadness and tears to a place full of celebration

and happiness.

It waits

And waits

And waits.

No one tells it she won’t come back.

So it keeps waiting

With its

Stained carpets

Rotten odor

And many memories

Of

Laughter.

Joy.

Death.

~Maggie Helmes, June 2010

Four years has gone by so quickly, but at the same time, it seems like forever.

xxoo

Yum

Four-Oh.

I can only imagine the birthday bash for your 40th. Everyone is telling me to celebrate on your behalf, but it's not in me to celebrate when I'm missing you so much. But I will do my best and will fake it: strawberries, pound cake, and whipped cream for the kids tonight in you honor.

Old Videos from Noah

Thinking of you and your hugs

I miss you and love love.

Earth to Anna: Happy Birthday

It is you I remember on this day, dear friend, not the veterans, which you would like. Still miss you madly and constantly. Maybe this birthday will move me to scan some old pictures. love love.